Psychology
by Artificial Starlight
Summary: "Huh? No, not reverse proctology -" Kiku opened his mouth to say psychology, the science of the mind, not proctology, the study of the anus. "I'm gonna go find him and force him to attend my party, and he'll damn well like it!"


Psychology

By Artificial Starlight

"Oh, come on!"

"I said no!"

"Please?"

"Drop it."

"But…"

"Bloody hell, the pathetic kicked puppy look stopped working two centuries ago, idiot."

"Iggy, I just want you to have fun on my birth-"

"I will have fun, damn it, just leave me alone!"

"Drinking by yourself in a bar is not _fun_…"

Arthur glared at the man in front of him, summoning up enough malice to show that, yes, he totally resented that statement and for such an assumption, he'd very much like it if Alfred would _bugger off_.

Alfred didn't seem to get the hint though, and he had long since became immune to such ugly looks. He continued to look genuinely concerned, which pissed England off all the more. "Please, Iggy, come celebrate my birthday with me. Canada, Italy, Spain, Germany, France-" England's deep green eyes flashed and Alfred yelled over him before the shorter male could start his protests, "You won't even see that pervert, he'll be too busy chatting up to the women and getting beaten up. It'll be entertainment for you! But that's not the point; the point is, everyone's going to be there, except the one person I _want_ to be there… That's you if you didn't get the-"

"Oh, I got the bloody hint!"

There was a period of silence until America got too impatient, "So? Will you come?"

"No."

The light blond American slammed his forehead into the table in front of him, groaning in frustration (and now in a little pain, because he hit that table a little too hard). Arthur tried not to smile like the secret sadist he was. "You are such a stick in the mud, it's not even funny."

Another man walked up to them as they sat at the conference table; the world meeting had ended a few hours ago, but since the room was held in the very hotel they all stayed at, many of the nation representatives lingered around, chatting and conversing about things _other_ than world problems. Arthur looked up just in time to meet coal black eyes, nodding tightly in greeting, "Japan, nice to see you."

"Hai, England-sa-"

America straightened up so fast he almost flung himself out of his chair, "Kiku!" Said man jumped back in surprise, looking slightly concerned and yet irritated.

"America-san, we-"

"Oh, call me Alfred, I told you that before, didn't I? Anyway, did you bring the games I asked for?"

"Hai, but I'm not sure you should play them Ame-Alfred-san."

"Huh? Why not?"

"They're of the horror variety," Japan answered, as if it was illogical for the man in front of him to play those types of games (and really, in the case of America, it was a completely absurd idea).

"So?" However, this was clear to everyone _but_ Alfred.

Arthur rolled his eyes, "You get scared of the _dark_, you don't need some fake, imaginary game to put tales in your head."

Alfred frowned, pouting like a child who had been refused candy, "Ok, I'm afraid of the dark because there are _ghosts_ in the dark, that's when they come out! Secondly, I can _totally_ handle a stupid _game_, ok? But it's not like you'll even see me be the total hero I am and beat that game cause _you won't even come_!"

England snarled, "Stop being such a baby."

America made a growly face. "Stop being such a baby," He mocked, speaking in a high voice.

Arthur's cheeks stained red, and his fists shook in fury until, finally, he stood from the chair, taking his glass of gin with him, and stomped out of the room, growling obscenities all the while. On his way out, he made sure to slam the door with enough force that a crack appeared in the wood.

Despite the fact that Alfred expected such a reaction, he still cringed and sunk into his chair as the Briton left and the room was in absolute silence as the few occupants stared.

Japan's expression remained blank, but Alfred had known the man long enough to see the scolding look in his eyes. America looked sheepish, "What? I just want him to come to my birthday, at least _once_. It's been…" He did the calculations in his head, "Two hundred and thirty-four years since my Independence, and not once has he celebrated it with me. I know he's bitter but, fucking A, isn't it time he got over it?"

Japan sighed, "Alfred-san, perhaps you are going about it the wrong way. Instead of criticizing him for it, let him come to you. Reverse psychology works in the best of times. "

"I've given him so much time already!" America flopped over, apparently defeated. "I just want him to wish me happy birthday, or get me a present, or just spend time with me. Instead he's grouchy and snaps more often, and then he goes to get drunk at some dirty old bar."

Kiku frowns slightly, concerned, and he steps closer to rest a hand on the American's broad shoulder, "Al-"

Strong arms snap out, wrapping around his middle and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. Kiku squeaks in surprise and merely stands there, eyes wide and lost on what to do, mentally reminding himself that in America, such actions were publicly accepted and occurred often over such little things. "You're a genius, Kiku!"

"W-what?"

"Your idea! It's perfect!"

"Reverse psychology?"

"Huh? No, not reverse proctology -" Kiku opened his mouth to say _psychology_, the science of the mind, not _proctology,_ the study of the _anus_.

_Good Kami, what was with this idiot?_

"I'm gonna go find him and _force _him to attend my party, and he'll damn well _like it_!"

"U-uh, A-Alfred-san…"

"Thanks for your help Kiku, you're a life saver, I swear," The blond let him go around the waist but leaned in for a kiss on the cheek, grinning all the while. "Don't forget that I'm the hero though! And I'll prove that tonight when we start that gaming marathon!" With that, the American rushed out the door, loudly and obnoxiously yelling Arthur's name, not worried at all about the other hotel occupants.

Kiku was left standing in the spot he was harassed in, staring into space as if he couldn't process what the hell had just happened. Suddenly, two hands peeked up to latch onto his chest, pulling him back into a surprisingly strong body. "You're boobs belong to Korea, Da ze!"

Kiku flailed, squawking, "Why am I being groped so much today? Unhand me! Help!" Strangely, nobody was around to save him; they were all rushing downstairs to watch America manhandle an infuriated Briton.

It was an interesting day, the 4th of July, people would be talking about this birthday for some time to come.

…Thank You…

So here's the 4th of July tribute. Happy Birthday Alfred! I felt sad not writing one to celebrate Matthew's birthday. But I was happy seeing all the Canada day fics out there, I figured I needed to focus on another.

There aren't any defined pairings in here… maybe it's because I'm confused with who Alfred should go to. I'm particular about the pairings. The first Hetalia story I read was UKUS (England on top) and that really worked for me, I could see that happening. For some reason, despite the dislike of the smaller one being dominant, regarding countries, I think the one with more experience should be more controlling.

And then there was the fact that England was his father figure for so long, that transition, not unlikely to happen, is hard to get past though. _Then_ France appears, and I really like the idea of FrUK… France and England's love/hate relationship appeals to me in many ways.

So, going through the list, I stop at Russia, I was really into this pairing for a while until I got to Russia/Canada or Russia/Lithuania. Russia works with so many others too, RuAm isn't final.

Then Japan! I like Kiku~ And his history with America is very interesting. In some ways, I really like their connection the best; I see this couple easier than many others…. Then came Giripan. Greece/Japan, that works too for me.

I'm lost… who can my country love? D:

Let me know what you guys think if ya want. Help me find a pairing for America!

(Psst… I found an America/Belarus story… I was like "wft, why would you do this?" but… I see it. Am I a masochist for saying that or what? "Tell Me Why He Cares," by yaoi rox my sox)

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Hetalia! DX


End file.
